On the Road...

去年的此时，我跟重建还有石丹在人民广场看黄金甲。

而今年的此时，我已经在这个靠近赤道没有冬天的城市。没有了冬天，让我最近变得很烦躁。长假已经是第三天，在家里当了三天的宅男。本来是打算去附近的城市像吉隆坡或者曼谷转转的，但一想到这个季节人这么多，又是雨季，自己又懒惰又怕麻烦，于是选择留守。

 

在PPStream上把《血色浪漫》又从头到尾看了一遍。跟看第一遍地感受有点不同，我发现最耐我寻味的场景是李奎勇临死之前和钟跃民之间的那番长谈，“。。。大概是挺高兴，因为你活得太累了，活得不耐烦了，想一劳永逸地休息了，是不是？。。。"“。。。如果人他妈的还有来世，下辈子我还当李奎勇,还住这破院子,伺候我妈,玩命儿赚钱,娶个媳妇养我儿子。。。”而当李奎勇的话再次响起的时候，只剩下钟跃民独自坐在停尸间的门口。这个因血色浪漫而至的凌晨，我不禁暗然神伤。本来是应该写写钟跃民的，以后再说吧，因为今天是圣诞节。

我终于承认没有女朋友有时候是挺凄凉的。平时一个人到罢了，但遇到圣诞节这种日子，一个人着实难过。于是翻开手机，试图从电话簿里找到一个可以约出来一起去逛逛的女孩。把通讯录从头到尾再从尾到头来回翻了三遍，我才确信竟然没有一个是合适让我在这个Christmas Eve约出来的，虽然在公司，toastmasters clubs, 还有Church里面认识的女孩也不少。

于是决定自己一个人出去逛逛。坐地铁来到Orchard Road, 刚出地铁口便发现全是人，几乎难以顺利移动。大家都是一对一对的，自己一个人显得有点突兀。于是选择撤退。坐地铁回来。经过Toa Payoh 这里的教堂，决定进去。虽然我不是一个虔诚的基督徒，但是基督教的很多理念让我很赞赏。

12点多的时候又来到Clarke Quay, 并不是想去什么酒吧，因为很清楚自己和里面的吵闹和气氛格格不入。只是为了看看新加坡河的夜景。靠在栏杆上，望着北方的天空，任思绪缥缈。阿姨说前两天西安下了今年冬天的第一场雪。很怀念穿着风衣走在寒冷的冬夜的积雪里的那种感觉。凌晨两点，打车回家，躺在床上，闭上眼睛，我想，今晚的圣诞节作为我2007年结束之前的序曲吧。

 

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Introduction about myself: A man who has been silent for 25 years, now is suffering the pain and enjoyment as a toastmasters.

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"I hate public speaking.
  Suddenly I’m someone I don’t know.
  I just hate being looked at.
  There must be something in my nose. My hair is bad, my fly is open, and I am wearing the wrong clothes.
  I am hiding in the bathroom cuz my stomach is not quite right.
  When I think of standing up to speak I’m paralyzed with fright. "

 

Good afternoon, Mr president, District officials, fellow toastmasters and hornorable guests. This song represents my feeling when I was on the stage as a Toastmaster of the Day (TMD) two weeks ago. That moment I started to understand why some people would rather die than speaking public. When I was on that stage, what I really want to do was to crawl into a hole and disappear. I was frustrated deeply by my poor performance. When I was on the way home, I sent a short message to Felicia; she is my mentor along my journey as a Toastmasters. The content of the message was “I hate public speaking”.

 

In the first few days after that meeting, I didn’t want to think and see anything about public speaking. I want to give it up. After put it away for a couple of days, I ask myself, where does my fear come from? I am one of those people who are stubborn as donkey. I want to find out the cause of my inordinate fear of public speaking.

 

I find out one of the possible solution to get rid of my fear of public speaking, is by changing what I believe on a very deep and emotional way.To get what I mean, imagine the following scenarios.

 

Imagine you are someone who believes “Dogs are dangerous”. For you, it is an absolute fact that dogs are dangerous.
Now imagine you are sitting on the chair at a friend’s house. The door opens and a big dog comes in.
How do you feel? Afraid, right?
What scared you? Doesn’t it seem like the dog scared you?
Before the dog walked into the room you were fine. Afterwards, you were scared.
Most people in that situation would say the dog scared them.
Now imagine that somehow you really could eliminate the belief that “Dogs are dangerous”. You don’t believe it any more. It’s as if you never had the belief to begin with. For you, dogs are a lot of fun to play with, and you like dog.
Again, you are in your friend’s house, and a dog walk in.
How do you feel this time?
Does the presence of a dog still cause you to feel fear?
Absolutely no.
So, what really caused your fear in the first scenario? The dog itself, or your belief about the dog?
The belief, right?

 

A belief is just a description of reality we think is true. We consider our beliefs to be “facts” about reality. Then I investigate further more to find out what beliefs caused my fear of public speaking.

 

My first belief is I cannot speak fluent English. I always lost when trying to translate between Chinese and English, and I always tongue-shy when trying to put my thoughts and idea into English.

 

My second belief is that I am that kind of person who is very introverted and queit, and therefore unfit for public speaking.

 

My third belief is, I believe the audience are critical and picky, and they have very high expection about the speaker. when I was on the stage, I will disappoint the audience who currently think well of me. I will make the audience uncomfortable.

 

My fourth belief is, I just feel I am going to make a fool of myself in front of audience. I feel bad when my shortcomings exposed before the public.

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Most of you are very experienced toastmasters, I would be grateful if you can give me some advices or suggestions on how to cure my fear of public speaking. I would very appreciate that.

 

Back to you, toastmasters of the day.

 

 

Project 2   Organize Your Speech
Objectives:
    • Select an appropriate outline which allow listeners to easily follow and understand your speech
    • Make your message clear, with supporting material directly contributing to that message
    • Use appropriate transitions when moving from one idea to another
    • Create a strong opening and conclusion
Time: Five to seven minutes

 

 

When I say the wonder of the world, what comes into your mind?  (Pause, look at all the audiences) Can anybody tell us the 7 wonders of the world? (Pause) The Great Wall of China, The Pyramid of Egypt are the two of 7 wonders of the world. They are incredible intelligence gathering of human beings. But the world is in constant progression, anything else can be called the wonder of the world?

Honorable Aland, toastmasters of the day, Fellow speech crafters, today, I am going to describe to you what I call the 8th wonder of the world. This wonder has been changing the history; this wonder has been changing the behavior of human beings. This wonder is -------- hand phone.

Some of you may ask me, are you kidding? Hand phone, I am using it every day, how can it be the wonder of the world? I am going to convince you that hand phone changes our lives, and changes our social behavior.  I want to share my insights into this amazing invention, and convince you of its impact and hidden potential, in YOUR life today.

Hand phone, initially used to making a call, now has much more functions, such as, digital camera, video camera, voice recordings, instant messaging, or even a pocket-sized personal computer. In Singapore, I noticed that there is a drink called “Anything”, then I think hand phone should be called “Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere!” The potential of hand phones are unimaginable and limitless.

Great convenience we get from hand phone, it also has made tremendous social impact on human beings.

 It’s common sight for Singaporeans to use hand phone on public transport. Some make sure everybody on the bus can hear them. Singaporeans can type SMS on the phone as quickly as they would have a regular keyboard. They send text message everywhere, in the MRT or while crossing the road, even in toastmasters meetings. We have now encouraged more responsible and considerate use of hand phones. Cinema advertisements remind people to turn off their phones before the movie. Before the start of toastmasters meeting, SAA reminds you to put your phone into silent mode.

Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever left home forgetting your hand phone? (Pause) I observe many people looking so stressed forgetting their hand phones. If you observe, I will find many people are also constantly checking their phone for text message or missed call. If a whole day passed by without text message or phone ring, some people start to wonder why. Some feel lost. The moment there is a text message or call, they immediately obey. Their phone become like their god. Do you own your hand phone? Or does your hand phone own you?

Some people are spoilt by hand phones. In the past, without hand phones, if they cannot get in touch with somebody immediately, they feel ok. Nowadays, they have a demand to connect to somebody anytime immediately. If not, they feel unhappy.  Recently, one of my friends in shanghai was dumped by his girlfriend. The reason is he had three missed calls from his girl friend, and he didn’t reply to his girlfriend’s text message until one hour later.

With hand phone, people have more pressure. Even if you don’t pick up a coming call which you don’t want to, that person can send you a text message, and you don’t have peace any more. You have more demand to meet in your life with hand phone.

With hand phone, face to face communication is less; most times we choose making a call or send a text message. The efficiency brought by hand phone makes people lost track of time. I find a strange phenomenon, since we have hand phone, people tend to be more easily to be late for appointment. In old days, without hand phone, people feel that if they were late, the person waiting for them may leave. Nowadays, they will not fear of being late, because they know that even if they were late, they can find the person eventually with hand phone.

Ladies and gentlemen, can you imagine, if one day without hand phone, what the life would be? Maybe some of you may feel totally isolated from society.

Ladies and gentlemen, are you convinced that hand phone has changed the social behavior of human beings and you change your lives to keep up with mobile technology? Explore this 8th wonder. Be amazed.

Toastmasters of the day.

 

 

今天，竟然得到promotion，真的受宠若惊，太意外了。

如果说，职位从Engineer变成Senior Engineer带给我的全是责任和压力的话，那么，10%的加薪完全是给我的惊喜。

回想了一下这五个月以来自己的表现，前三个月绝对是没话说。但是最近一个多月以来自己确实容易走神，上班的时候经常神游, 劲头也不足。真的是印证了那句话：生活容易乏味，工作容易疲劳，人容易懒散。

 

前段时间浏览了几本书，其中有一本是《7 Habits of Highly Effective People》，highlight几点以提醒自己。
1) 上班时间绝对不聊MSN，不干私事。
2) 邮件集中处理。
3) Prioritize所有的任务，有先后次序的有条不紊的逐个完成。
4) 每天早上开始工作之前花10-15分钟作计划，晚上下班回家之前花15-20分钟做总结. 要做到位,不能只顾形式.
5) 每天能有半个小时到一个小时清静的思考.

 

 

刚从西安经海口转机回到新加坡，我恍若隔世。

 

回国内短短九天时间，几乎要磨灭我在新加坡过去五个月的记忆。

 

心情极其糟糕。